The
Ladies Strand
Kay stood in the small parking area above the beach and
made a slow and detailed visual sweep of the view. Immediately to her left, at
the top of the path that descended to beach level, was a derelict house, some
of the windows broken and boarded; others revealing age-shredded curtains
allowing glimpses of cheap furniture. Beyond this the rolling grass surface led
to a piece of land which separated the beaches at mid to high tide. The
fragment of castle, just the flat front wall of a once imposing edifice glowed
pink in the evening sun. Far beyond lay Kerry Head and farther again she could
just perceive the mountains, violet shadows in the still air.
It was mid-August, so the beach was still busy with
families enjoying the last weeks before the new school term would return most
of them to West Limerick or even Dublin. Bright blue, red and yellow wind-breakers
created many small compounds, like social cells; a tent the nucleus, sun chairs
the mitochondria, parents and children, sometimes a dog, entering and leaving
incessantly. Kay realised that she was trying to understand the biology of the
beach. She certainly needed to grasp it if she were to survive.
A wide artery took water from the bath house in a winding
delta to the sea. The cliffs to her right were a rigid, open exoskeleton. She
felt the heart of the beach under her feet, the organ of soil which pumped the
water down to that artery and eventually to the clouds. She scanned right to
left now; searching for the brain, the centre of organisation and the key to
understanding the sensations of the strand. She closed her eyes and let the
after images form. Her memory vision had saved her life before, and she trusted
it now, but the scintillation of people and waves, constant movement, constant
visual noise, frustrated still analysis. She must wait.
To avoid unwanted attention Kay moved. She followed the
thread of holiday makers down to the beach and walked over to the cliffs,
genuinely impressed with the record of geological time revealed in the curves
of strata and equally impressed by the delight of the small children playing in
the pools. She saw fathers pucking balls to their children, mothers chatting as
toddlers splashed and laughed together. The emptiness throbbed within. She had
never known this, and knew that she could never provide such love for her own.
She was not angry about it: her father was suffering beyond her comprehension
for his part and her mother was gone. Frank had to die, but that was not
because of her rage; there was no rage. Frank had to die because if he did not,
then he would surely kill her.
A sign warned that the caves at the head of the beach
were tidal and should not be entered. Life guards patrolled and made sure that
once the tide had turned, which it now had, this rule was obeyed. Kay moved
back up the beach and entered a cave mouth that did not join the system. Hidden
here she waited for the tide to reach her. By the time the water lapped around
her feet it was twilight. She moved to the entrance and looked out. The beach
was almost empty, the lifeguards gathered in their cabin under electric light.
The water rose. When it was at her waist the light in the cabin went out.
She stripped, tucking her clothes into a groove in the
rock and swam out and along the line of cliff face. She soon arrived at the
cave which did lead to the sea and felt the boom of the water swirling within.
She had to dive to get through the entrance and then found herself in the
system. The apparent pitch darkness soon yielded its secrets to her sensitive
vision. She felt the danger; it was immense, and she rapidly explored the cave
system, the waves sending the water level all the way into the arched
roof-space more and more frequently. She was hurled against sharp granite, felt
the blood seeping into the sea and the salt into her veins. The exchange numbed
her. She was not going to let drowning do Frank’s work for him, so she kicked
hard against the wall and fought her way to the cave mouth. This was now
completely submerged, but somewhere in front of her. The force of the waves was
greater than anything she had experienced. She dived again and again, but the
relentless power pushed her further from the cave entrance.
She dug her fingers into the ceiling of the rock and
pressed her cheek to it, gasping for the last air. The only possible route was
now to go with the flow of water, but that only led to the solid core of the
cliffs. She knew that she was about to die, and rather than her whole life, just
one moment came back to her; so vividly that rather than the cold water and
colder rock, she felt the warm hard space behind her father’s hi-fi system. His
voice and Frank’s formed from the distant crashing of the sea in the cavern,
and as they bled their victim her consciousness failed with his.
There was no sound, no light and no motion as the water
crushed her into the final, unyielding geological crease. She became,
temporarily, akin to the fossils that studded the strata.